1019 - So You think you can Kiss my ass?

A Slender Droll Midget
An extinct female Neanderthal
A 50 Kg Protozoan
A herbivore Diplodocus
A 5 foot length Ameba
An avertebrate amphibian
Or better saying
An insect grazing parasite
has done something that it's politest given interpretation of it
is gonna be too raunchy
to be written here in front of all zoologists and educated ones!

The Mentioned Ascaris has "creatively" made up a title and an opening line
and stuck it to the 4 paragraphs she copied from this of article of Dr. Iranian Idiot
put what she's infringed as a hay to a hayrack
here in this sty!

And What about the "Copyrights"?!

Don't be silly!
Lambs Never learn or know about "rights" during their life,
but "Copy" Whatever they enjoyed, like hell to their own species instead.

يك مضحك قلمي كوتوله
يك ماده نئاندرتال در حال انقراض
يك تك ياختهء 50 كيلويي
يك ديپلودوكوس علف خوار
يك آميب 160 سانتي
يك دوزيست بي مهره
يا شايد به عبارتي صحيح تر
يك انگل حيواني حشره خوار
غلطي كرده كه تفسير مودبانه اش
زشت تر از آن است كه اين جا
و در محضر اساتيد، جانورشناسان و ديگر فرهيختگان به آن اشاره شود!

آسكاريس مورد نظر در اقدامي خلاقانه بعد از نوشتن يك تيتر و يك جمله
خيلي شيك 4 تا پاراگراف از اين نوشتهء دكتر ايديت را كپي كرده
ريخته تو آخور خودش اينجا در اين طويله!

و كپي رايت؟!

حرفا مي زنيدها!
گوسفند ها در طول زندگي شان
از "رايت" و "حق و حقوق" بويي نبرده و نمي برند،
در عوض مثل پشگل، براي همديگر كپي مي كنند و به خورد هم مي دهند.د

1018 - People Ask the Question

I don't know What's a friend or who is it
Nor I don't know what a friend is like to you,
But I know
It's not about how much they say they like you,
It's not even about how regularly you see 'em, either.
Oh No!
It's about how they make you feel,
every single time you see them!

Because If "Friendship" was anything else rather than this
I'd be having hundreds of braggart sycophants around me.

من نمي دانم "دوست" چيست يا چه كسي است
همچنين نمي دانم تعريف شما از "دوست" چيست،
فقط مي دانم
موضوع نه به مقدار ابراز ارادت شان به شما برمي گردد
نه به تعداد دفعاتي كه آن شخص را ملاقات مي كنيد،
اوه نه!
موضوع فقط و فقط بر مي گردد به نوع احساسي كه آنها در شما ايجاد مي كنند،
هر باري كه ايشان را مي بينيد!

كه اگر "دوستي" چيزي غير از اين بود
من صدها آدم متملق و گزافه گو و عوضي را در كنارم داشتم!د

1017 - Eh?

I don't understand Jeans Commercials!

A Pair of pants doesn't make sense
on a topless chick!

من تبليغ هاي شلوارهاي جين را نمي فهمم!

يك شلوار جين پاي دختري تاپ لس
اصلا معني ندارد.د

1016 - Heh

Birthday Wishes:

Hey Virgin!
Happy 28th Anniversary!!

1015 - Catcher in the Rye Again

Persona,
Character,
Are the answers to all your silly questions!

There is no need for justifying,
I'm the fact
You're the scientist!

Go find about me the way you do!

شخصيت،
كاراكتر،
جواب تمام سوال هاي احمقانهء توست!

توجيه كردن ضرورتي ندارد،
من حقيقت ام
تو محقق!

برو براي خودت جواب پيدا كن.د

1014 - Not Falling

Why Cheating?

When you can maintain a healthy kind of relationship
that you can be enjoying it drastically
get truly infatuated
And stay in love faithfully
with your own self?

خيانت چرا؟

وقتي آدم مي تواند رابطه اي سالم برقرار كند
آن قدر كه حقيقتا شيفته شود
صادقانه عاشق بماند
و شديدا لذت ببرد
از بودن با خودش؟

1013 - Green is the New Fear

Bastard cucumbers!
Now that they couldn't subdue me
They raided my best friend's house by midnight
after a few threatening telephone calls,
and pointed their 2 barreled fingers by his head
and found him guilty by
"Treachery"
according to their own sick wisdom
which is something dependent on their enthusiasm.

Those sick bastards don't know the fact that
That poor inoffensive lad
Actually Has had his precious Homeland for sale
long before all this would even happen!
But There was nobody buying it!

Right the way he admitted himself.

خيار چمبرهاي لعنتي!
حريف من كله خر كه نشدند
گويا بعد از يكي دو تماس تلفني تهديد آميز
شبانه ريخته اند خانهء بهترين دوست من،
انگشتان دولول شان را به سمت او نشانه گرفته اند
با منطق بي حساب كتابشان، كه تابعي از رگ گردنشان است،
مجرم شناخته اند اش:
وطن فروش!

پدرسوخته ها نمي دانند
آن واماندهء بي آزار خيلي قبل تر از اين ها
وطن "گرانبها" يش را براي فروش گذاشته بود!
منتها كسي نبود بخره!

دقيقا همان طور كه خودش هم گفته.د

1012 - Right Next Door To Hell

If I ever become an American Citizen
I'll come up with some reasons
Real and Documentary
To be enough for me
to run away from that country to some place else!

Because of the fact that
You can't change some people's nature!

I heard that people in America "do their own thing and don't care what others are up to!"
I was told this once and thrown up on face with huge loads of misery and grief by an Iranian.

Imagine that!;
An Iranian!
Like finally, there has been found a spot in this big damn world
that can't get included in that "anywhere but home" category of places for Iranians! Well, at least "literally"!

That's a good sign!
Finally! a convenient place to settle down,
Hopefully not a place like Iran
when everyone is curious to know
what and how others around are doing their own personal lives,
In order to make it through the day, and sleep it through the night!

A Place that you can be hopeful not to be questioned and heckled,
by people who don't really care where you are coming from,
so you'd not be forced to talk about a place where your only correlation with was
some landing place after an accidental falling off of one goddamn stork's mouth
and tell stories
like it's that movie; "Behind Enemy lines", or something like bitter memories of war!
Now that world has eventually decided to calm down a bit,
with a little help from a bottle of bourbon!

A Place where people don't crave for knowing something they have no idea about
So they won't make you tell
made up stories about the likes of life in Iran,
as if you were ever interested or actually lived that kind of life,
Talking jive as though you knew that place,
or you dared to know,
or chose to understand or become a part of it's society!
Like those mother fucking liars
who are making business out of this,
Folks who get flattered by their own stories,
and start getting the feeling of an arrogant champ talking
about how they ran away,
and what kind of big ogres penis' they broke during their journey to freedom-land!
Such pure bullshits!

Not a place as if the only thing
that makes strangers come across together in everyday life
and keep the slightest boundaries between 'em
is mostly quarrel!
Something that could help all these people,
with their tones of obsessions and inner explosions,
burst on anybody!

Not a place like Iran
Where people are dangerously either insider or intruder
Green Or Red
No more of a place where people's points of view would be illogically harsh and rigid,
To the extent that you find yourself questioned
in a way that the answers you give
must be Positive!
Questions like:
Are You A Patriot?
Will you die for your country?
Are You A Muslim?
You Voted for [...] didn't you?
And any type of question
that actually has vital repercussions and consequences.

Going through subjects and issues that better be left personal
Specially for a person like me
who'd better not express himself too much
for the safety of self and those around him!!
Like That Warning note
at the beginning of the "Jackass" movie!

* - This note has went through final edition at 21:30 - Iranian idiot

من روزي شهروند آمريكايي هم شوم
سلسله دلايلي ارائه خواهم كرد
واقعي و مستند
كه براي فرار از آنجا كافي باشد
به يك جاي ديگر!

نشون به اون نشون كه
ذات بعضي ها را هيچ وقت نمي شود تغيير داد!

شنيده ام كه آن جا آدم ها زياد به هم كاري ندارند!
اين را يك بار يك ايراني با كلي "غم" و "غربت"، خيلي جدي بالا آورد توي صورت من.

يك ايراني!
فكر كن!
انگار كه بالاخره پيدا شده است نقطه اي در اين دنيا
كه حداقل بطور لفظي براي ايراني جماعت در ردهء آن مكان هاي "هرجايي جز ايران" قرار نگيرد!!

اين نشانهء خوبي است!
بالاخره يك محيط مناسب براي مستقر شدن،
نه مثل جايي كه آدم ها همه با هم كار دارند!
موجوداتي كنجكاو كه بايد هميشه از حال و احوال هم خبر داشته باشند
تا روزشان را شب و شب شان را روز كنند!

محيطي كه آدم بتواند اميدوار باشد اهالي اش سوال پيچش نكنند
مجبور نباشد از كشوري كه آدم تنها ارتباطش با آن،
صرفا محل فرود بعد از سقوطي اتفاقي
از دهان يك لك لك سربه هواي مادر به خطا باشد صحبت كند
و داستان ببافد
در رديف فيلم "پشت خطوط دشمن" يا خاطرات تلخ دوران جنگ!
حالا كه دنيا آمده است كمي با كمك ويسكي تنسي به آرامش برسد!

مجبور نشود يك وقت مثل بعضي از آن چهره ها مادرقحبگي كند،
از سرزميني غريب داستان هايي خيالي بسازد براي آدم هايي كه هيچ تصوري ندارند.
كاسبي!

يك زندگي آرام در ميان آدم هايي كه برايشان مهم نيست از كجا آمده اي
طوري كه آدم مجبور نشود حرف بزند از زندگي در آن جا،
آن هم براي آدمي كه انگار هر روز
زندگي كرده است آن نوع ايراني لعنتي را،
انگار كه آن جا را مي شناخته،
يا خواسته بشناسه،
يا انتخاب كرده است كه بشناسد و جزئي از جامعهء آن شود!
بعد هم حتما بادي به غبغب بياندازد و مثل يك قهرمان
از علت فرارش بگويد، و اينكه دول چه غول هايي را كه نشكسته!
و از اين مزخرفات!

اينطور جايي نباشد كه ديگر هيچ وقت
تنها چيزي كه آدم را به غريبه اي ديگر در زندگي روزانه نزديك كند
تلاقي دهد و به برقراري ارتباط بكشاند
اكثرا جنگ لفظي باشد!
جايي كه اين همه آدم پر از عقده و انفجارات دروني
كه در همه حال دنبال اولين بني بشري مي گردند تا رويش خالي شوند
در اقليت باشند!

مكاني كه آدم ها به طرز خطرناكي
تنها به يكي از دو دستهء خودي يا غير خودي تقسيم نشوند
سبز يا قرمز
جايي كه افكار آدم هايش آن قدر بي منطق و خشك نباشد
آنقدر كه طوري سوال بپرسند از آدم
كه جوابش فقط بايد مثبت باشد
سوال هايي چون
تو وطن پرست هستي؟
تو براي كشور جان مي دهي؟
تو مسلمان هستي مگه نه؟
تو به {...} راي دادي مگه نه؟
نوع سوالاتي كه پيامد و عواقب وخيمي دارند.

مرور كردن موضوعاتي كه بهتر است درون شخص آدم بماند
خصوصا براي مني كه بهتر است
به خاطر سلامت خود و اطرافيانم
زياد ابراز وجود نكنم!!
مثل آن اخطار در اول فيلم
Jackass

اين نوشته در ساعت 21:30 باز نويسي نهايي شده است.د

1011 - Suicidal Tendencies For You

For every problem in this life,
There exists at least one Solution:

"Go Fuck Yourself!" - Iranian idiot

1010 - Tin Tin

Went to Dentist,
knowing what she's gonna do to me
by the end of THE Longest Hour,
So I Told her:

"We should stop seeing each other like this"!

1009 - Something to remember me by

My Share
For you
From now on
will be more than enough
to just be a pungent pain in your seating area!

سهم من
براي تو
از اين به بعد
همين بس كه دردي سوزناك
در ناحيهء نشيمن گاهي ات باشم!د

1008 - Time to kill me

I'm proud!
I'm proud of myself
and all the sins I did
because every single one of them was not of those mutual sins
that could bring up a tad of sympathy, with any of these knocker ass holes!

افتخار مي كنم
به خودم
و تمام گناه هايي كه كردم
كه تك تك شان از آن دسته گناه هاي مشترك نيستند
كه حتي يك دانه شان بتواند در من ذره اي احساس نزديكي، به اين همه دست خر مزاحم بوجود بياورد!د

1007 - Chicago, IL, Chainsaw Massacre Of the Silent Lambs

Insomnia!
As Much as shooting myself in the head
seems the only way to get myself fall asleep.

بي خوابي!
آنقدر كه خالي كردن يك گلوله توي سرم
به نظر تنها راه باقي مانده براي افتادن در تخت است.د