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Wednesday, October 29, 2008


This Freaking Hymen thing is one of the most Critical points
in the life of every failed youth who thought he was on the road to the Truth,
That he'll reach to that someday and he'll get dazed
when he finds out about the philosophy behind the fact of "having it or not having it"!
in a way that he'd define girls in only 2 groups from then:i

- one who he can spend the night over at her place
- the other, a girl who he must be sleeping only with her, everynight, and under some specific legal circumstances.i

Now which group are the virgins and which are not,
is your very own "Homework"!i

Just remember if someday, like Idiot, you ever happened to
Turn the table and go for finding yourself
or finding the Truth
Destiny or any other fucking thing you may call it,
of the dangerous group,
Or You'll be totally screwed!i

I'm Talking About the Virgins!
Just the time you put yourself into a relationship with one of them,
You get so involved that you think you have found what you were always looking for
or you have already "GOT" that
and you might never understand
for the rest of your life that "THIS" wasnt "THAT",
Or You'll notice that sometime that you are too far from your Youth qualities...i

اين بكارت لعنتي هم يكي از بحراني ترين نقطه ها
در زندگي هر جوان وامانده ايست كه فكر مي كرد در جادهء منتهي به حقيقت است،
كه بالاخره روزي با آن برخورد و فلسفهء پشت داشتن يا نداشتن آن،
شديدا او را متحير خواهد كرد!
طوري كه آن روز، دختران را تنها در دو دسته جاي خواهد داد:

- يكي آنهايي كه مي تواند امشب را خانه اش بخوابد
- ديگري آنهايي كه هر شب فقط بايد با او بخوابي، تحت شرايط خاص قانوني.

حالا اينكه كدام گروه همان دختران باكره هستند
و كدام گروه نيستند، "تكليف شب" شماست!

فقط اگر روزي شما هم هوس كرديد
مثل ايديت بزنيد زير همه چيز و برويد دنبال پيدا كردن خودتان،
يا پيدا كردن حقيقت،
يا آزادي،
سرنوشت يا هر زهر مار ديگري كه اسمش را بگذاريد،
حواستان باشد
گرفتار آن دستهء خطرناكش نشويد!
والا كلكتان كنده است!

باكره ها را مي گويم!
همين كه با يكي از انواع آنها رابطه برقرار كرديد
آن طور درگيرش مي شويد كه فكر مي كنيد زندگي را پيدا كرده ايد
يا "تشكيل" اش داده ايد
و شايد
تا آخر عمرتان هم درك نكنيد كه اين آن نبود،
و يا وقتي به آن پي ببريد كه ديگر از جواني افتاده باشيد...

Sunday, October 26, 2008

De-Censorshitalyzing Process

I Give out my garbage thoughts with the main language
to assure you
that nothing has censored during the publishing process!i

I dont know about the ways that one could live his life
but Whoever that Doesnt like it this way
Will Be Lead to Hell,
to read all those cut translated-into-persian books and what's leftover from the main
to be pumping pasteurized crap to their head
Day And Night
Sometimes things here can get so Unpasteurized
that could even Crap all your beliefs!i

Now that The Situation is So Crappy I Wonder where to let YOU run, You little Dork!i

من ترجمهء افكار آت و آشغالم را به همراه متن اصلي تحويل شما مي دهم
تا به شما اطمينان بدهم
در زمان انتشار مطالب، هيچ چيزي سانسور نشده است!

من بلد نيستم راه زندگي به كسي ياد بدهم
اما اونهايي كه تحمل اين موضوع را ندارند
راهنمايي مي شوند به جهنم،
سراغ اين همه كتاب ترجمه شده به فارسي، تيكه تيكه شده،
فضولات پاستوريزه پمپ كنند به مغز خودشان
صبح و شب!
اينجا بعضي وقت ها همه چيز مي تواند آنقدر غير پاستوريزه شود
كه اعتقادات تان را هم به گند بكشد!

حالا خودمانيم، در اين وضعيت كثافت بار، تو كوچولوي اتو كشيده رو به كجا فراري بدهيم؟!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Saul "Slash" Hudson

Just Another memorabilia Entry:

I Just Finished Reading "Slash" Autobiography
While Listening To The Doors/Jim Morrison - The Movie
on a night that I was about to pass out on my bed from exhaustion.

Basically, the first and the Biggest English Book I've ever read
And Ofcourse My favorite one!i

An encouragement to buy more books when traveling abroad

يك موضوع روزمره ديگر براي ثبت در خاطرات:

همين الان كتاب بيوگرافي Slash رو تمام كردم
وقتي داشتم The Movie از The Doors/Jim Morrison رو گوش مي كردم
در شبي كه از خستگي روي تخت داشتم بيهوش مي شدم.

اولين و حجيم ترين كتاب انگليسي اي كه تابحال خوانده ام
و البته يكي از Favorite هاي من.

يك تشويق براي خريدن كتاب بيشتر وقتي آدم در مسافرت خارج به سر مي برد!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Thumbing My way

Life is a big lie
And Truth is what I make you all believe!

Hope you dont understand the truth, I just said anyway
so everything would stay just right!i

زندگي يك دروغ بزرگه
و حقيقت همان چيزي است كه من شما ها را به باور كردن آن وا مي دارم!

اميدوارم اين چيزي كه گفتم را درك نكنيد
تا همه چيز "راست" باقي بماند!

Sunday, October 19, 2008


Everything is Crazy!

Sometimes Me,
And other times the rest of the world...i

همه چيز ديوانه است!

حالا بعضي وقت ها من،
بعضي وقت ها هم بقيهء دنيا...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

A Wolf At The Door

No one's Home!
It's Just Me and a Cockroach that creeps down the Sofa.
Cockroaches dont answer the phone,
neither can open the door,
and they dont care about which operator provides better cell phone services either!i

No one's Home!
Piano is Silent
and so is the man in the Panel,
And I'm not talking to myself that loud
that would give you the reason to keep pushing the doorbell
like you really want this door open!i

كسي خانه نيست!
فقط من هستم و سوسکی که از روی مبل پایین می خزد.
سوسك ها نه تلفن جواب مي دهند
نه مي توانند در باز كنند،
نه آنتن دهي همراه اول يا ايرانسل برايشان تفاوت مي كند!

كسي خانه نيست!
پيانو هم كه ساكت هست
همينطور آقاي توي قاب عكس،
و من هم آنقدر بلند بلند با خودم حرف نمي زنم
كه دليل بشود براي تو كه داري زنگ در را چنان پشت سر هم فشار مي دهي
كه مي خواهي اين در باز شود!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Oh Britney

Las Vegas is a place where people's motivation for marriage
consists of approximately 40 percent of alcohol!i

لاس وگاس جايي است كه انگيزهء آدم ها براي ازدواج
كم و بيش حاوي 40 درصد الكل است!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

My Own Snakepit

I Say,
We edit the sexiest picture that we never got to take from our freaking girlfriends
By Photoshop
Sum it with their amorous Diffusions
make posters
and Hang 'em there on the city's Billboards!
To be reminding you stupid boy, everyday
while driving on Highways that:

Everything's The same!
Only the faces has changed.

من ميگم
سكـسـي ترين عكسي كه هيچ وقت نتونستيم از دوستاي دختر لعنتي مون بگيريم
رو فتوشاپ كنيم
با تمامي افاضات عاشقانه شان جمع بزنيم
بكنيم پوستر تبليغاتي
بچسبانيم روي همهء بيلبورد هاي شهر،
تا هر روز سر پيچ مدرس به صدر
به توي شونگول يادآوري كرده باشيم:

همه چيز يك شكل است!
فقط چهره ها عوض مي شوند.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Walking Contradiction

I Am Taking New Steps in My life!
With the same old All Star Shoes...i

در حال برداشتن قدم هاي جديدي در زندگي ام هستم!
با همان آل استار هاي قديمي...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


30 Years Of Difficulties and Problems
To negotiaite With America?i

It Took Me just a few hours
To reach a conclusion!i
درسته عزيزم؟!

30 سال موانع و مشكلات
در برقراري رابطه با آمريكا؟

واسه من فقط چند ساعت طول كشيد
تا با هم به توافق برسيم!
Right baby?!i

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The weblog That Jack Read

May You are one of those
who think
The English Here is So perfect for An ESL!i

Thats a Pity!
Cuz Since last Wednesday,
I still couldnt figure out
Which one of the following Statements
The English Friend Of Mine really meant
with that Freaking Freckle-ish Accent he has:i

You Cant Say You Cant
You Cant Say You Cunt
You Cunt Say You Cant
You Cunt Say You Cunt

شايد شما از اون دسته آدم هايي باشيد
كه فكر مي كنيد
انگليسي اينجا - به عنوان يك ESL - خيلي فوق العاده است!

چون اين در حالي است
كه من از چهارشنبه قبل تا بحال در نفهمي مانده ام
دقيقا كدام يك از جمله هاي زير مقصود آن رفيق انگليسي
با آن لهجهء كك مك دار لعنتي اش بود:

You Cant Say You Cant
You Cant Say You Cunt
You Cunt Say You Cant
You Cunt Say You Cunt

ESL : English as the Second Language

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Enter Madman

Hello to you in the first day of the week!
Special And Warm greeting to you lovely Beasts!
How's Your Wildlife?!i

Warm Greetings to Evetyone!
Even You Tamed Animals!
You Are Now listening to Iranian Idiot
The most sloppy Independent Blog!i

سلام بر شما در روز اول هفته!
سلامي گرم و ويژه به شما جانواران عزيز!
امروز حيات وحش تان چطور است؟!

سلامي گرم به همه!
حتي شما جانوران اهلي!
صداي ما را از Iranian Idiot مي شنويد!
شلخته ترين وبلاگ مستقل!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Sex And Polly-Ticks

You find the Real Socialism in Position 69! i

The Reason Why we dont have socialism in Iran
is the fact
that everything in Iran, is just so New age, Celestial and Religious
That People has Neglected To Shave
Their Pubic origins!i

P.S.: Iranian Males, Dont hesitate in Shaving Their Armpit and pubic origins, Unlike Erupoeans.i

سوسياليسم واقعي را در وضعيت 69 مي شود پيدا كرد!

حالا اينكه چرا ما در ايران سوسياليسم نداريم
برمي گردد به اين حقيقت كه
همه چيز در ايران، آنقدر عرفاني، الهي و مذهبي است
كه آدم ها از تراشيدن نواحي شرمگاهي شان
بازمانده اند!

پي نوشت: مردان ايراني ها بر خلاف عرف رايج در اروپا، در تيغ زدن موهاي زيربغل و نواحي شرمگاهي شان ابايي ندارند.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

The Thin Ice Of Mad Life

There comes the day that
You'll be drinking something as strong as Whiskey
You Get drunk, up to losing your virginity.

You've Smoked Pot like you are falling from high heights
like the edge of the table down the below
Or Coke like a stockpile of boys and girls
on the couch or on the floor with no pillow.

There comes the time
when you spend a night sleeping with someone with such a pain in your stomach
or a night sleeping with someone like you have never slept before

Just Like your Mom and Dad
when they were at your age
Whether they wanted to, and They did it
or They may wanted to, but they didnt
or they did, but stopped you from doing it
or they didnt want to, but they did
or they didnt want and they never tried
or they never wanted and never did

The day will come.
Choices will be yours.
And You
Will become another Mom or Dad...i

[مطلب حدود 25 سال]

يك روز فرا مي رسد
كه تو مشروب مي خوري در حد ويسكي،
مست مي كني در حد از دست دادن باكرگي،

پات مي كشي در حد سقوط از ارتفاعي زياد به بلندي لبهء ميز تا آن پايين.
يا كوك در حد انباشته اي از دختر و پسر روي كاناپه يا زمين،

فرا مي رسد
شبي كه تا صبح در كنار كسي مي خوابي با چنان دردي در ناحيهء شكم
يا شبي را تا صبح در كنار كسي چنان مي خوابي كه انگار تا بحال نخوابيده بودي

مثل پدر و مادرت
وقتي هم سن و سال تو بودند
كه مي خواستند و انجام دادند
يا شايد مي خواستند ولي انجام ندادند
يا كردند ولي تو را بر حذر داشتند
يا نمي خواستند ولي انجام دادند
يا نمي خواستند و هيچ وقت امتحان نكردند
يا هيچ وقت نمي خواستند و هيچ وقت انجام ندادند

روزش فرا خواهد رسيد.
انتخاب ها با تو خواهند بود.
و تو
يك پدر يا مادر خواهي شد...

Monday, October 06, 2008

Just A Bunch Of Wankers

I Think
The only one who didnt Copy/paste
the shocking "I Want to be a prostitute" essay of that 10 year old girl
was The Freaking Iranian idiot!i

Iranian Blogsphere
desperately Suffers from incapabality to create new, hot Topics!i

Ps.1: Below are some blog or website links (in Farsi) that All copied and pasted the same note!
Ps.2: A ten year old girl has written an essay with the subject of "I want to be a prostitute" as what she likes to become when grown up, regarding the fact that she didnt really know what a prostitute is or does, just as someone attractive who dresses up well, whether drives nice cars or have drivers and always hold parties and even her own father had been invited to her house a few times. I may translate that into english if there would be someone interested.

فكر كنم
تنها كسي كه انشاي تكان دهندهء "مي خواهم فاحشه بشوم"
آن دختر ده ساله را در وبلاگش Copy/Paste نكرده بود
ايديت دم بريده بود!

لينك ها:

لينك 1
لينك 2
لينك 3
لينك 42
لينك 57
لينك 76
لينك 125
لينك 256
لينك 374
لينك 512
لينك 666
لينك 728
لينك 832
لينك 1000
لينك 12535
و... و... و..

بلاگستان ايراني شديدا از درد عدم توانايي در توليد مطالب داغ رنج مي برد!

Sunday, October 05, 2008


Metallica's Discography:i

i1983 - Kill 'Em All
1984 - Ride the Lightning
1986 - Master of Puppets
1988 - …And Justice for All
1991 - Metallica
1996 - Load
1997 - ReLoad
2003 - "Shit Load"i
2008 - Death Magnetic

Saturday, October 04, 2008

I Am With The Doomed

Your God
Looks Down on me!
He's given commands
Against me and my nature!i

Dont like him At All!i

خداي شما
نگاه تحقير آميزي به من دارد!
به علاوه
فرمان هاي زيادي هم
عليه من صادر كرده است!

اصلا ازش خوشم نمياد!
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