885
Superhuman

Uhhh... Now that I have nothing special to talk about,
Then let me quash the feminism for you!i

By reasoning to the fact that
Whatever that goes on to all these innocent women
in this very mannish world we are in
is because of the biological and mental differences of the women.i

Don't agree?i

Start Drinking this bottle of Whiskey
If you feel you need to a proof!i

I can assure you
that tomorrow morning or even the noon
when you go to bathroom with that hangover
You'll find a downward flash sign on the bottom of your belly
pointing to your very feminine region
which some son of a bitch has written something up above it like this:
Idiot was in here!i

آه... حالا كه حرف خاصي ندارم،
بگذاريد پس فمينيسم را برايتان نقض كنم!

اون هم با استدلال به اين موضوع
كه هرچه در اين دنياي مرد سالار لعنتي
بر سر اين همه زن بي گناه مي رود
تماما ناشي از تفاوت هاي بيولوژيكي و روحي او است.

باور نداريد؟

براي اثبات اين موضوع
شروع كنيد به نوشيدن اين بطري ويسكي!

به شما اطمينان مي دهم
صبح يا شايد ظهر فرداي چنين شبي
وقتي با سردرد به دستشويي مي رويد
در زير شكمتان فلشي رو به نواحي فمينينتان پيدا مي كنيد
كه يك پدرسوخته اي يه چيزي توي اين مايه ها بالاي آن نوشته:
ايديت اين تو بوده!

884
Magoo

How many more years does this generation of girls who are seeking similarities with S.B. in their relationships should last?i

Since we were 4-5, when my playmates and I were pulling up skirts of the girls of our age
we were seeking something new and different!i

نسل اين دخترهايي كه در ارتباطشان با آدم به دنبال نقطهء مشترك مي گردند تا چند سال ديگر بايد ادامه پيدا كند آخر؟

من و همبازي هايم از همان 4-5 سالگي، وقتي دامن دختر بچه هاي هم سن و سالمان را بالا مي زديم
هميشه به دنبال چيزي جديد و متفاوت مي گشتيم.

883
With Eyes Open Wide

Jesus Christ
Was always a problem child!i

You see?
He's Always up there on a cross
right about to fall
and get himself killed!i

He doesn't even care
about all those people who are praying that may he stop doing that thing,
I call it "Riding on devil's back"!i

عيسي مسيح
هميشه يه بچه دردسر ساز بود!

مي بينيش؟
هميشه بالاي يه صليبه
در شرف سقوط كردن
و به كشتن دادن خودش!

او حتي
به تمام آدم هايي كه پايين صليب
براش دعا مي كنن از صليب - يا همون خر شيطوني كه من ميگم - پايين بياد
توجهي نمي كنه!

882
You name it

After 4 years, I've finally found the right way to put my very own interpretation of a damn "Perfect Match" into words:i

Somebody who can justify the dirtiness inside, beautifully!i

بعد از نزديك به 4 سال كلماتش را پيدا كردم تا توصيف كنم "Perfect Match" لعنتي ام را:

كسي كه بتواند Dirty ترين درونيات آدم را به زيبايي توجيه كند!

881
Ex, Rugs, Oak and Owl

We had a private party
till 0530 in the morning last night.i

Although The door was open to anybody.
I mean, anybody who'd feel welcomed
stepping into a jungle.i

ديشب تا 5:30 صبح
پارتي خصوصي داشتيم اينجا.

گرچه در خانه به روي هر كسي باز بود.
منظورم هر كسي كه از قدم گذاشتن به جنگل
احساس "خوش آمديد" مي كرد.

880
Interesdead

Our "watching animations" together,
could have become the biggest deal of our life;
Something like "taking a trip to San Francisco*"!i

But Damn your bad luck
that I'm such a maniac
who has a great lust for taking insane actions!i

* - This is interesting cuz "Taking a trip to San Francisco", is an Iranian Slang term for "Having sex".i

"انيميشين ديدن" ما،
مي تونست بزرگترين مهم زندگي مان شود؛
چيزي در حد "سانفرانسيسكو رفتن"!

لعنت به شانس تو
كه من كله خر
اينقدر عقدهء ديوانه بازي دارم!

879
Man in the Mirror Vs. Beautiful People

Sometimes
Some specific type of people
Do sort of things that you'd think it's more than their ability!i

They start believing this fake reality
That we are the same kind!
We can be together!i

يه وقتايي
يه سري مشخص از آدما
يه كارايي مي كنن كه فكر مي كردي از عهده شون خارج باشه!

شروع مي كنند به باور اين حقيقت دروغ
كه ما از يك نوعيم!
مي توانيم با هم باشيم!

878
The Happiest Days Of Our Lives

It was a gray Noon of the last day of a gray week
in a gray city
and a High school with high gray brick walls!i

One Would say
Some Fuckin' Cops
in schoolmaster's shoes, dressed in gray suit
are shouting in gray loudspeaker,
giving ultimatum:
This is the last hour of the week, Don't get yourself into trouble!i

But The terrorist youth
was keeping his soul
as a hostage
and wouldn't release it to those who had sieged him!i

ظهر خاكستري آخرين روز خاكستري هفته
در يك شهر خاكستري
و يك دبيرستان با ديوارهاي بلند آجري خاكستري!

گويي پليس هاي لعنتي خاكستري
در لباس خاكستري ناظم هاي خاكستري
از بلندگو هاي خاكستري
اولتيماتوم مي دادند:
ساعت آخر هفته است، براي خودت دردسر درست نكن!

اما گروگان گير جوان،
روح جوانيش را
به گروگان گرفته بود
و به اونهايي كه محاصره اش كرده بودند، تسليم نمي كرد!

877
Dr. I-I. Lecter

The Game that I'm about to tell you
is so simple!i

Put on your robe de chambre
Turn off the lights
and come to me,
put this earphone on
Close your eyes
and Listen to what I play for you.i

The aim of this game
is to fulfill yourself
with all the under skin senses
and see how far you can go.i

And remember
This game has only one major rule:
Don't Touch the earth!
No matter what!
And Don't panic from any obscure and strange sense
that gives your body trembles.i

In Order to do this
Free your mind
from all those things which is "The very first"
All those very first "Times"
The very first experiment,
The very first night we met,
The very first night that we are left alone in the house...i

And If you ever shy,
Don't you feel like you've failed!i

All these feelings of fear and worry caused by the doubt & insecurity in you
And your goodnight kiss and hug on the other hand,
has created such a nice innocent inconsistency in you
as beautiful as it could get
if you were supposed to let your robe de chambre go off your shoulders
with complete certainty and dare of what you're asking for,
My Pretty child!i

اين بازي اي كه مي خواهم برايت بگويم
ساده است!

رب دوشامبرت را بپوش
چراغ را خاموش كن
و بيا كنار من،
اين لنگهء هدفون را بگذار توي گوش ات،
چشمانت را ببند
و گوش كن به هرآنچه برايت مي گذارم.

هدف اين بازي
آنست كه هرچقدر بتواني
پر شوي از احساسات زير پوستي
و ببيني چقدر مي تواني ادامه بدهي.

يادت باشد
اين بازي فقط يك قانون كلي دارد:
تحت هيچ شرايطي زمين را لمس نكن
و از هر حس مبهم و گنگي كه بر اندامت لرزه انداخت،
ترس نداشته باش!

براي اين كار
ذهنت را خالي كن
از هرچه كه "اولين" است:
تمام آن اولين "بار" ها؛
اولين تجربه،
اولين شب آشنايي،
اولين شبي كه من و تو تنها در خانه مانده ايم...

و اگر يه وقت،
از جا پريدي
فكر نكن باختي!

اين همه هول و ترس ناشي از احساس شك، ترديد و نا امني در تو،
و در عين حال آن در آغوش گرفتن و بوسهء شب بخير،
تناقض كودكانه اي همانقدر زيبا در تو ايجاد كرده است
كه اگر رب دوشامبرت را تا به حال
با اطمينان و جرات كامل به چيزي كه آن را مي خواهي،
از روي دوشت به زمين انداخته بودي
كوچولوي من!

876
Outta Get Me

I read it once somewhere that a foreigner said: "Religion" and "Politics" are two topics in which two arguing parts - meant me vs. these people you see - would never reach an agreement. This is Iran! "Islamic Republic" of Iran! The republic part has got nonsense lately! Plus they don't clarify which type of "Islamic" it is either: Cop's Islam, or Old women's Islam. There's always been one thing for sure: Every time somebody stepped in god's shoes or act like hands of god, everything has gone critical! Imagine, they put 2 causing disagreement topics together and call a whole country with it! Me included! Shit! This is labeling me! This is a shitload of politics and religion before a simple goddamn name that's only 4 freakin' words! This makes it Iran, the most political religious country! If you watch the news, you see there is a lot of "Republic" going on in here! Streets, smell like republic! People have republic breath! Everywhere smell like republic! This much of Politics and Religion is too much for me! Seriously! It's even much more than the extent that one needs for disagreement with this country! Believe me I had already reached the disagreement with it, before all these! I swear! This extra mass is just overloading, It's overflowing! It's more than needed! It's over weighting! It's getting dangerous! Dammit: This much politics are deadly! Way too much that can get me and you killed! It will get us fuckin' killed and those 6 bullets in your goddamn revolver is not gonna get us anywhere, you idiot! you understand???i

يه جا خونده بودم كه يه خارجي گفته بود: "مذهب" و "سياست" دو مقوله اند كه دو طرف قضيه - يعني من و اين هايي كه مي بيني - هيچ وقت در آن به توافق نمي رسند. اينجا هم ايرانه! "جمهوري اسلامي" ايران! "جمهوري" اش كه معلوم نيست! منظورشان از "اسلامي" بودن را هم كه اصلا براي آدم روشن نمي كنند: اسلام پليس، يا اسلام زن هاي پير؟ فقط يه چيز مشخص بوده: هر وقت كسي جاي خدا يا دست راستش نشسته همه چيز بحراني شده! فكرش را بكن دو مقولهء غير قابل اشتراك بين افراد را كنار هم بگذارند و با آن همهء يك كشور را صدا كنند! منم توش! اين يعني برچسب زدن به من! يعني كلي سياست و مذهب قبل از يه اسم ساده كه لعنتي فقط هم 4 حرفه! يعني ايران، سياسي ترين كشور مذهبي دنيا! اين روزها اخبار رو ببيني، كلي "جمهوري" داره توش اتفاق مي افته! خيابون ها پر از بوي جمهوريه! دهن مردم بوي جمهوري ميده! همه جا بوي جمهوري ميده! اين مقدار سياست و مذهب براي من زياده! جدي مي گم! حتي بيشتر از مقداريه كه يه نفر براي به توافق نرسيدن با اين كشور نياز داره! باور كنيد من قبل از اينها هم به اين عدم توافق رسيده بودم، قسم مي خورم! اين همه حجم اضافه فقط داره سربار ميشه، داره سر ريز ميكنه! بيش از حد لازمه! داره سنگيني ميكنه! خطرناكه! لعنتي: اين همه سياست كشنده است! اونقدر زياد كه من و تو رو به كشتن مي ده! به كشتن مي ده و اين 6 تا گلولهء توي ريوالور ات هم ما رو به هيچ جا نمي رسونه احمق، مي فهمي؟؟؟

875
Part of personal history

It's this year's very first November Rain.i

4 years ago,
I could only play this song with Piano,
Later On,
I got to play it in a real church!i

Time passed!
It was one of those days
I suddenly found the sympathy with my guitar
I found the feeling to feel it
And Which tunes I would enjoy playing with it?
Slash's Tunes!i

I was so into it...
There were nights that I would play all along till sunrise,
Till my fingers burn,
Till my thirst would subside!i

Until I found out that he's coming to this region,
I worked my ass,
sold my soul,
my pride
for the money!
But It was Okay
Since there were just Iranians,
The Type of people who live totally different lives than mine,
yet anonymously earning every single penny
till I got the money!i
In all those despairing days
when you're just a loner Rock n' Roller
On that fucking road, every single day
when you have nothing left to believe in
But your Guitar
And Your Rock n Roll Soul...
So I packed up my things and went abroad to that Velvet Revolver show.i

That Very Velvet Revolver Show!i

I'm not gonna tell you how I got there
or How I sneaked into the meet and greet room!
I just did it!
It Just happened!
I did get to meet with Slash in person!
I did sit right next to him
I did put my arms around him
I did take a picture with him
And I did take his autograph
and his autobiography book
and I did have a few words with him!i
And by the way,
Of course I saw this Man's performance,
Like none of those 15,000 people did!i

This is something you'll never got to know how it feels!
Something that you'll never understand!
Something beyond words
Something beyond life
It's not a matter of praising a Guitar Icon
It's a matter of the greatest inner satisfaction
from the depths of your... heart, soul, whatever you can ever call it,
When the other night,
you're stoned in your bed,
thinking about what you experienced,
One great personal achievement,
Greatest of the great beliefs,
with the biggest smile on your face,
like your muscles got hurt...i

You're the only one who knows...i
And you're the only one who feels...i

***

And here I am now:
Friend's Bad ass Rocker Dude!
I play "November Rain" With My Guitar,
With the Video on
Thunders flashing through the window
And the sound of rain drops
and that fresh smell of rain,
My curly hair is as long,
and my soul is as wild...

I take that very special Cigarette, I kept for a year,
And I play the whole song,
once again, like I have never did this great before!i

Like I never played November Rain, this great before!i
Like I never played November Rain, this great before!i
Like I never played November Rain, this great before!

***

In this very moment,
I have every intention to say:
That I've achieved anything
Slash Sake!
I even have my very own curly hair!!!
and I can mimic most of his greatest tunes!

There is only one great wish left here,
The greatest of all:
finding my very own guitar playing self

874

پارازيت ايديتيكال: قصهء جنبش قرمز رنگ خال خال سفيد شورت مامان دوز عمهء ايديت

فردا كه بهاي قبض هاي برق 4 برابر شود
زامبي ها به خيابان ها مي ريزند
و به خوردن يكديگر مي پردازند.

اين وسط
موسوي و طرفدارانش
در پي پس گرفتن 13 آبان
و مناسبت هاي انقلاب هستند.


تو هم كه جديدا
نماز جمعه و راهپيمايي برو شدي!

من هم كه هنوز احمدي نژاد،
با آن استعداد خيره كننده خود و اطرافيان اش
كـاراكـتر مورد علاقه ام است!


افاضات آقاي گنجي را دريابيد
كه هنوز غلطي نكرده، دولت تعيين مي كند!
توي دهن اين و آن و يكي پشت سرش و ياروي 4 طرف آن طرف ترش هم مي زند!
طوري حرف مي زند كه ايديت را به فكر مي اندازد:
جـنـبـش سـبـز
- با انواع طرفداران اين طرفي، آن طرفي و بي طرفي اش در ايران و خارج از آن -
بالاخره مال آقايان موسوي، گنجي و... است،
يا مال مردمي كه برگ راي شان زير درخت آلبالو گم شده؟

در اين حال و روز
ايرينين ايديت پيشنهاد مي دهد:
فردا اگر زامبي ها شما را نخوردند
يا فردگرايي ايراني تان تك تك شما را به زوال نكشاند
حواستان به انقلاب سبزتان باشد
رنگش چندان مهم نيست
مهم انقلابش است:
موجودي كه مي خورد، بچه هاي خودش را!


اگر رنگ سبز را ازتان گرفتند
نگران نباشيد!
شانس اين را پيدا كنيد كه از انقلابش جان سالم به در ببريد
اگر با اجل هم كنار بياييد
آن وقت ضرورتا طبق گفته هاي آقاي گنجي
مي رويد رنگ ديگري انتخاب مي كنيد!

براي ايده از رنگ شورت مامان دوز عمه تان الهام بگيريد
و اگر نمي توانيد دامن عمه تان را بالا بزنيد
مهم نيست!
رنگ شورت مامان دوز عمه ها به طور پيش فرض
قرمز خال خال سفيد است!


در آخر اين را همواره در ذهن داشته باشيد
چه رنگ سبز مال شما باشد
چه مال آقاي گنجي و بستگان محترم وابسته،
شما مردم عزيز
صرفا يك ابزار بوده و هستيد!
مثل ميخ
گرچه سر شما به طور بالفعل ضرب چكش را حس نكرده باشد.

873
Hell-O-Win Special

Happy Halloween!i

It's 3:17 here
and you are listening to our rummy cheers from the very Haight Ashbury!
In this smoky atmosphere
me and all my allies
are walking on the edges on our lives
Mid-20's Style!i

in this eastern society
who needs halloween
when I have your face
and you have mine to bear all the time?i

sign.: Your favorite nightmare

هالووين مبارك!

ساعت 3:17 دقيقه است
و شما صداي هياهوي سرمست ما را از Haight Ashbury الهيه مي شنويد!
در اين فضاي مه آلود
من و تمام همراهانم
داريم بر لبهء زندگي هاي مان راه مي رويم
به سبك نيمه هاي دههء دوم

در اين جامعهء شرقي
چه كسي به هالووين نياز دارد
ماداميكه من ريخت شما،
و شما ريخت من را پيش چشم داريد؟

امضا: كابوس مورد علاقهء شما

Oh By the way!i
You know our comment section, so...i
Trick or treat!i

راستي!
بخش كامنت را كه حواستان هست؟
Trick or treat!i